No One Likes A Quitter

A fighter.

I am doing something marvelous today. Something scary. Something adventurous. And something courageous. I have only told myself I would do it at some point, 'when I felt ready,' but I just don't ever think that time is going to come. I think I just have to do it. This will be about the hardest personal goal I will ever achieve. Harder than quitting drinking. Harder than graduating from college. Harder than running for an hour or getting up at 6 a.m. five days a week. I haven't attempted it in over three years and I have been at it for about six years. I told myself when I turned 25 I would stop it. I am one of the last of my friends still at it. I am embarrassed of it. It makes me slow. It lingers in my brain if I haven't had it. It is my escape from social activities. It was an excuse to feel and look cool. A starving artist who is only starving more because of it. I am sick of it. I am ready to be rid of it. What is it?