No Longer A House Rat

A man just making a living. We all have to do it somehow.

I have to say, the longer I live the more my life turns into a daily episode of Seinfeld or Curb Your Enthusiasm. It might be that I pay attention to the awkward human interaction and happenings around me more than most, but I just can't seem to go a day without a painfully awkward moment in my life. Yesterday I started my job at the Old Post-- realize how pissed I was when I woke up at 5 in the morning puking my guts out. I got a case of 'the food poisoning' and I had to battle with it at work. There was no way I was going to call in sick on my first day of work. So the hour that it takes me to shower, dry, and straighten my hair plus whatever else I do to get ready, took me about two hours. I heard whatever wasn't pleased in my stomach sitting in what sounded and felt like an active volcano about to explode. I made it on time and thought I could get away without mentioning my food poisoning issue, but because I had to sneak away about three times to use the bathroom so suddenly I thought I should at least share with my trainer what was going on with me. She seemed a little grossed out and apparently has never experienced the wrath of a 24-hour food poisoning bug so I'd say she was a bit confused by it all, but she seemed to understand. I stayed for the entire shift and kept a smile the entire time. Actually, I want to give myself a huge pat on the back for how well I handled the whole thing. When I got home yesterday I was mainly bed-ridden. I only ate saltines and drank a ginger ale soda, both of which came back up an hour later. I feel better today. I just have the aftermath of puking all day the day before. A little weak and still feel queasy at the site of most food. Yummy.

So, in other good news, forty plus applications, ten or so interviews, and three months of bi-polar disorder later, I finally landed a job. A decent one at that. I guess it all depends on what you consider decent, but I will be working as a real server and hopefully making some mad tips at the Old Post. I've got to work on that smile of mine. I've been thinking about practicing looking myself in the eye and talking to myself in the mirror so maybe I'll sneak some smiles in there somewhere. If you can't look yourself in the eye, can you really justify looking someone else in the eye? Try it. It's not that easy.

I've had some interesting encounters and happenings in the last couple months. I feel like I should write an entire blog on my many interactions with potential employers. I just haven't had the awkwardly observational sarcastic writer in me lately. It has been a ride looking for a job. It's hard when you know you are qualified for jobs like dish washing at an old person's home, but for whatever reason you still aren't good enough. And you know about 100 other people are applying for the same low end job. When I applied for a counter position at the Bridge the girl told me after the interview that 70 people applied for the same job within two days of a craigslist posting. It's brutal out there, so my advice for the day and for the next couple of months is keep your job. It's hard to get yourself up every day without any real plan but to subject yourself to many different employers around Missoula with giant doe eyes and a desperate plea for help. It does a bit of damage to the ego. But, it also shows you how you handle truly rough times. And, although I have been living on food stamps and borrowing money for the first time from my family, I can say I kept my head above water. I did have major mood swings and only a few people in my life had to deal with that for which I am very sorry. Now I just have to play catch up.